Author: themacabrebrat

BDSM 101: What is BDSM?

BDSM is different for everybody. But its commonly known as B/D (Bondage and Discipline), D/s (Dominance and submission), and S/M (Sadism and Masochism).  BDSM is an umbrella term used for anything that may not be considered normal sexual activity (or vanilla) according to society standards.

You do not have to participate in any part of BDSM that you don’t want to to be considered part of the BDSM community. Anybody that tells you otherwise is wrong and you need to stay away from that person (this is known as a red flag).

There are no set rules or definitions within the BDSM community but they are generalities that most agree upon.

One major thing that everybody agrees upon is consent. Consent is the major factor in distinguishing abuse and BDSM. There is consent within BDSM; while there is no consent when it comes to abuse.

Another thing everybody in the BDSM community agrees with is the need to have open and honest communication. Without this; then there is no way to actually give your consent if you have no idea what is going to happen. Plus practicing BDSM usually involves extreme acts that will create extreme emotions. If one person is unable to communicate with their partner then the relationship will be strained and very likely fail.

This is just a very basic and overall explanation of BDSM.

I will go more in-depth into the different roles and activities that are part of the umbrella of BDSM in the future.

by themacabrebrat

My thoughts on brats and brat tramers

I have seen a few people that practice BDSM say that brats are bad and aren’t a type of a submissive because they don’t want to follow orders. Some people even say that brats need to be tamed.

My thoughts about those ideas are phhhhhbbbbb.

Brats are just playful submissives that like to be playful and make BDSM more fun because they like to find loop holes and push back. I personally find just saying yes to everything right away without joking about it to be very boring. I like to play around and make jokes with my Master. Keep in mind I am not acting like a brat to take control. I just like to make jokes and play around. I’m being 100% playful not rude, hurtful, malicious, or manipulative.

If somebody calls themselves a brat but they never listen to any rules or orders. Plus if they are rude all of the time, lack any type of respect, and manipulate things so they always get their way. These people are not brats. They are just horrible people.

As for brat tamers; most brats don’t want to tamed. Trying to tame a brat is equal to taking their fun away and killing off a part of them. Just ask if a brat wants to be tamed because while some don’t, there are some that do.

As with anything in this lifestyle; it all boils down to communication and compatible. Just because somebody doesn’t like a playful submissive that doesn’t do whatever they are told without question; it does not make them a bad or not a submissive.

by themacabrebrat

Loyalty, laziness, or just contentment?

My Master recently thanked me for being loyal and it just hasn’t been sitting right with me.

My Master is currently too busy with getting his degree to pay me any attention and I’m very unhappy. I have expressed this and he just tells me to wait.

I hate waiting though. I’m an impatient little bitch that wants everything now.

I don’t know if I’m actually loyal or not because I’m unhappy with him.

I have thought of leaving him but then I was like hell no there are far much worse things out there. Plus I really don’t want to have to start over. Also I’m in love with my Master and I don’t really want to leave him anyway. Its just a culture thing where Koreans are super obsessed about school.

My main worry is that will my Master pay me any attention when he is finished with his degree?

I fear the unknown. I know I need faith. I do have Faith. 100lbs of Faith.

My dog Faith

So here I am back to the question if I’m actually loyal or not.

by themacabrebrat

BDSM has taught me that that I can say no and that my no matters

Long story short but my father would beat me anytime I told him no. I was taught that I could not say no to any man. Well after 20 some odd years and more; I went through actual hell because I was scared to death of ever telling a man no.
It wasn’t until I learned about BDSM that I can and should say no. That my no matters. That I won’t get beaten for saying no.
So if you ever have a question about if you can say no or not; the answer is yes you can and should say no if you want to. Also if you ever have to question yourself about saying no; then you are probably not in a good mental place or a safe relationship.
by themacabrebrat

What even is a title?

I probably shouldn’t be writing this while I’m super tired but if I don’t write it right now I will not be able to sleep.

I have the best Master ever.

You know the things that sound really cool in your head but in actual practice its a huge nope.

Well I enjoy forced bi (because pussy tastes awesome) but I’m just not a poly person. I have tried it twice and neither times worked out because of extra stress and I just didn’t feel right at all. If I’m with more than one person; I become utterly confused. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. Also I found out that in order for me not to be jealous or territorial; I have turn off my emotions (which is a horrible thing to do and it feels like hell). Nothing is worse than feeling nothing towards people you are supossed to love.

I recently told my Master that I’m into forced bi and that I have zero interest in women but I love eating pussy. Long story short; my Master was like you will be the lead slave and you train the other slave. After he said that I completely regretted what I said before. I got super cranky and was crying a ton (even surprised him by cursing a lot). I told him how it made me feel and he said that its fine all he needs to me (this is why communication is important kiddos).

I still generally feel horrible because of Grave’s Disease but my Master has made, and continues to make. my life feel less empty and I actually feel loved by more than just my dog.

I dun made myself cry again just from writing this.

Totes love;

The Macabre Brat

by themacabrebrat

Exceptions

Normally I’m 100% against of going back with your ex, because they are your ex for a reason. However; in my case the only reason I broke up with him was because he was too busy with school to pay attention to me.

It was 6 years that I first messaged him and I had no idea how much of a wonderful Master he was that that time. I had to go through hell a few times to realize that he was caring, actually paid attention, knew my mood and how I felt without me saying a word, and if I’m not comfortable with anything he will drop it and never bring it up unless I did.

I’m very glad that I just happened to be bored and wondered how he was doing. Also thank you awesome memory or else I wouldn’t have been able to even message him.

My point is if you ever want to get back with an ex list what was good and bad about the relationship. If the bad things aren’t too horrible then it might actually be a good thing to get back with your ex.

Side note: Sadists are hard as hell to find and I’m soooo glad that he is a sadist. I have tried being without pain and it just isn’t my thing. I need pain to be able to feel anything.

by themacabrebrat

Time Constraints

Being feeling a little stagnate because my Master is busy with getting his degree.

Hopefully things will get more exciting in a few months once I’m living with him.

One thing that has kept me grounded is my Master picking out where and what I eat. The and second time I loved it. The third time, however, I wished that he was there to actually order for me.

Soon little padawan. Soon

Also J-Hope cause my Master said he looks like that when he sleeps.

by themacabrebrat

For Fuck’s Sake

Welll… Ummmm…

I’m usually the first to say to never go back to your ex but I just had to make a fucking otome game about teaching English in Seoul… You know because of my obsession with Japanese/Korean men…

Making this game forces me to think about my very first Master because he is the only Korean guy I have been with.

Out of boredom and weakness I admit that I messaged him (hurray for my memory). Just saying that I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Hell he is the reason I started this blog in the first place…

Also this picture sure as hell isn’t helping either. Yes its giving me ideas of what to add for my game but otherwise its not good for my health.

Jungkook I love you but why you gotta be sooo damn fine?

by themacabrebrat

There is Never a Good Reason for Not Communicating

This post will be rather short because it doesn’t need too much explanation. Anybody that doesn’t seem to understand the concept that not communicating is never good needs to get checked out by a physiologist because they either have an ego complex or an id complex (superior/inferior). We are still people, even in this lifestyle. Nobody is superior or inferior. We still require open and honest communication.

Without communication how can there be trust? Its impossible. Constant doubt and fear takes over with prolonged lack of communication. What if the person(s) is sick, hurt, or worse? There is no way to know with proper communication.

Lack of communication also leads to feelings of abandonment. The simple truth is prolonged lack of communication is equal to abandonment.

With current technology, there is no reason to not hear from somebody unless they are not communicating on purpose.

One of the cores of this lifestyle is communication. Without communication you have nothing.

by themacabrebrat

Why am I still single?

This was asked to me by a Dom I was talking to on fetlife. He told me that I was very sweet, smart, and fun to be around but he wanted to know why I was single… The answer to this question is the same reason why we stopped talking to each other.

I am monogamous in a world where most people are polygamous. I will not budge on being monogamous. I tried polygamous and it didn’t work. I wasn’t happy and it drained me too much. I prefer to focus all of my energies on one person. I also don’t compete. If my Dom wants another girl he can have her, but I will be gone. Having only one partner is far less stressful and more manageable for me. 

by themacabrebrat