My ex-Master did a number on me. I was a dummy and I knew better but I had a feeling like I needed the experience even though I wouldn’t be happy. Boy was I unhappy. He expected me to love him at first glance. I will never forget them picking me up at the airport. He specifically told me to dress nice because he didn’t want a bag lady as his slave but him and his wife were dressed like homeless rednecks; which was unfair to me. That was my first plane ride and my first time way from my family and he wouldn’t allow me to dress comfortably. He also didn’t listen to a damn word I said to him. I told him that I felt very uncomfortable being stared at but he said that he didn’t care, he was going to stare at me all he wanted. With him I was more of a service sub than anything. He gave me a list of chores and that’s the extent of his domination towards me, which I hated. He hardly ever gave me any feedback or explained anything to me even though I asked him to. Most mornings while making the bed I was crying my eyes out because I thought that I was good enough. I got along with his wife better because she actually cared about me and we worked together and talked a lot. All my ex ever did was to sit in his chair and watch tv. He only ever played with me the first three days I was there. Most of the time neither of them told me a damn thing and I felt like a chicken with my head cut off, which is never a good thing. Towards the end I felt so uncomfortable. He made me hate going on the computer because he said that I was just like his ex and was using the internet to cheat on him, which was utter bullshit. I hated that he didn’t even trust me. Plus I missed being able to be with my family so much that I wanted to leave. I was so fucking scared that he was going to hurt me when I was waiting for the day to leave because it made him super angry. He actually had the nerve to tell me not to even try coming back. I would never go back to that. However, I always say that nothing is for naught as long as you have learned something; and I sure as hell learned a ton. First; people online are different than in person. Second; don’t be with somebody that wants to rush things. Third; true I love cleaning but I’m not a service sub. Fourth; I need time and space to myself. Finally; I cant stand to be picked on for just being me.

Now lets move out of the past and into the present.

Peace, love, and chicken grease.